The Next Great Author

Overheard

A: . . . and this is fabulous.

B: Wow, "fabulous," that's not a word I hear very often.

A: Yes, I was an English major in college, and I like to use big words.

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Dear Silly, Pretentious English Major:

Even though I did not overhear the context of your conversation, and even though you did not ask me, I have two pieces of advice for you.

First, do not proudly proclaim that an eight-letter word is a big word.

Second, there is no need to brag that you were an English major. This is not something that impresses (NOTE: Even this nine-letter word is not big) most people. I should know - I was a speech major.

Fondly,
Sam