The Okay-ness of OK

WORD OF THE DAY, VOL. 1

While I recognize that there are numerous words that each have multiple meanings, I argue that the word "okay" is detrimental to Americans and we must institute significant reforms.

Contention one - Harms
There is mass confusion over the correct usage of this word, both in written and spoken language.
A. Written language - Multiple, acceptable written forms of this word exist (OK, okay, O.K., o-kay, and probably more, including the more hick variations of a-ok and okey-dokey). There is not one acceptable standard. The impact here is that we are not able to point out each other's mistakes, which results in a lack of feeling superior to people around us. Without feelings of superiority, we must admit that we are merely average, which makes us feel not okay.
B. Spoken language - Since this word has multiple meanings, it is difficult to understand each other's message, particularly when there is not much context given for this word. Granted, sometimes the meaning is clear (cheerleaders screaming, "ready, okay" - okay = begin, and they start their cheer). However, at times, the meaning is not clear. If someone asks you if you are okay, there are several options here. Are you healthy? Are you happy? Have you recovered from that little episode with the crabs? You can imagine the disaster that can ensue if you answer this question with a resounding "sorta" (meaning that you are kinda happy) and the other person interprets your answer to mean that you are still feeling the effects of the crabs.

This confusion causes us pain and suffering, which we do not like. We deny the pain. We deny the suffering. This pattern of denial that is established in our lives causes us to ignore other important issues in our world, such as how Cheetos Twisted snacks can turn your tongue holiday green while maintaining the same cheesy taste, and why Frito-Lay felt the need to create such a product.

Contention two - Inherency
No. What year do you think this is - 1989?

Contention three - Solvency
The USFG will enact legislation, called The No Way Okay Law, with the following provisions:
A. The use of the word "okay" by adults will be punished by having to listen to a Christmas song performed by The Chipmunks.
B. If used, the word will be spelled o-k-a-y. Variations and abbreviations of this word will be interpreted to mean "the desperation felt by a crackwhore who needs crack." For example, if someone writes "I feel okey-dokey," that really means "I feel the desperation felt by a crackwhore who needs crack."
C. The use of OK as the two-letter abbreviation for the state of Oklahoma is acceptable, for those wanting to mention The Sooner State (whatever that means). Speaking of Oklahoma, I once received a t-shirt from a friend that had the word "Oklahoma" written in cursive letters on it. However, it wasn't written very neatly, and the "k" and the "h" both looked like the letter "b." People would ask me, "So, what does Oblaboma mean?" I told them that it meant they were a-ok.

Contention four - Advantages
Hey, how about if I just repeat the harms here, and claim that they go away? Works for others, right?