Banana Fanna Fo Fammy

NOTE: I've been trying to start a new feature on Fondly, Sam where I invite guests to write entries. The first person to accept this offer is Tammy (of the "it's my real name but I don't use it and Sam joked about it" entry posted a few days ago). So, here is Tammy's entry. Unedited. As she wants it posted.

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Back at you, dear friend -

For the benefit of the few readers that you have (unless you have a large contentioncey that does not comment - which, I guess, I am part of - and stop calling me a blog stalker!), I would like to further expundiate on the conversation for which you did not apologize.

Your stereotype of my name (which, on the by, I was named after the saintly St. Tammy who watches over the Holy Sisters For Troubled Youth in Toledo) was obviously a joke. I knew that. However, people are always telling me that behind every joke is an instant of truth. Here are some things that you joked about that you failed to display in your writing. Since you like numbers (are numbers your friends?), I will number them for you.

1. You said that you saw a woman at Good Will who had put a partially full bottle of body spray on hold. The post-it note stuck to it had the name Tammy on it. When she picked it up, she was a typical Tammy - stressed out, fairly skinny with jeans that were too tight. In her shopping cart were several see-thru shirts. Her roots needed attention.

2. You also said that Tammy is the kid who wants to hang out with the smart kids. They let her do this, cuz she isn't too much of a drain on them, but she is considered more of a project than a friend.

3. You also said that as Tammies get older, they tend to (a) experience significant weight gain, resulting from the stoppage of drug usage, (b) quit going to community college, (c) maintain the same poor level of word choice, (d) act on the belief that more makeup is better, never overcoming their inbred tendency to look cheap, and (e) have several divorces to look forward to.

Again, I realize that you were joking - but that whole colonel of truth thing. I would not want to hear your views of people who are really oppressed - even if you were joking. I think that stereotypes are bad, expecially when they are made of me - but also bad as a general philosophy of existence.

When are we playing poker again?

Fondly,
Tammy (proud of my name, and I may start to use it)