A Talking Can

Though I'm a big fan of Diet Pepsi, I recently purchased a 12-pak of Diet Coke Plus (with vitamins and minerals). Here is an excerpt from an interview I conducted with a can of Diet Coke Plus while I was drinking it.

Fondly Sam: So, I see that you contain 25% of my daily value of niacin. What's niacin?

Diet Coke Plus: I don't know. Check Wikipedia if you really care.

FS: I hate Wikipedia. Let's move on to flavor - I think Diet Pepsi tastes better than Diet Coke Plus.

(awkward pause)

DCP: That's not a question.

FS: I know. You're quite hostile. I think I'm done with this interview, so just be quiet now.

DCP: Why don't you make me?

FS: I don't make garbage, I burn it.

DCP: I'm not garbage. Please recycle.