Tammy Is Jobless

A NOTE FROM TAMMY
Hello to the Fondly Sam readers - Just in case anyone has a case of the curious, I did get fired today from the 7-11 in Cornelius. They caught on that I had stolen some cigarettes (only a few packs - they owed me cuz I work so hard!!!), and we were getting past that minor infrarction - but the straw that sank the camel's back was when I showed up to work today sober, and left with a slight buzz. I'm sure many of you are aware of the effects of pouring Schmirnoff Ice in Slurpees - or you can use your imagination - the best flavor for this recipe is berry. To my credit, I wasn't fall-on-the-floor or barf-on-your-shoes drunk (like I was on Saturday when I met Herb's mother, who didn't like me all that much). To my fault, I did consume alcohol at work, and don't recommend it, cuz something bad might happen, like a firing. I want to tell you this, because Sam has teased me that I can't keep a job, and I was all about proving his ass wrong. To my credit, I was at the job longer than he thought I would be (he owes me $10). To my fault, now I don't have a job. And my boss said he wouldn't even give me a recommendation. I'm sending this note to Sam via the email, and asking him to post it (since some of you have been nice to me), but I bet he won't oblige to me. The most important thing to remember is that my getting fired has nothing to do with my name - so no Tammy jokes here. I'm proud to say that I was fired due to my behavior. Thank you.

A NOTE FROM SAM
Why would I make a Tammy joke? There is nothing to joke about here. I will be giving Tammy her ten dollars. Perhaps she will purchase the book "How To Be An Indispensable Employee." Or maybe a new hair color. We'll see.